Question: Dr. 58, will you speak with us?
ANSWER: SIR, WOULD THEE PREPARE THY STAFF?
Question: Uh oh, this is not Dr. 58 is it?
ANSWER: NO. THE STAFF, SIR?
Question: I‘m not sure what we’re talking about here?
ANSWER: I WOULD ADVISE YOU ON THE PREPARATION OF THY STAFF.
Question: Who are you?
ANSWER: A TRAVELER, A WANDERER, OF THE STAFF GUILD. I WOULD INSTRUCT THEE ON THY STAFF.
Question: What kind of staff, like a walking stick, or a staff, say, for a shepherd or maybe a wizard?
ANSWER: YOUR PERSONAL STAFF, KIND SIR. ARE THEE READY?
Question: Well, can you tell us if this has anything to do with Dr. 58?
ANSWER: IN A ROUNDABOUT WAY, SIR.
Question: In what way is this connected?
ANSWER: SIR, A FINE STAFF IS ALWAYS TRUE AND NOT TO BE WITHOUT IN ANY EVENT, BE THY WANDERING IN MINNESOTA.
Question: Perhaps you’ve got the wrong idea. I don’t live in exactly the same Minnesota as the one of Dr. 58’s world. Perhaps you are confused. What do you think?
ANSWER: IT’S A SMALL MATTER, A WAY OF LOOKING AT THINGS. NOW, TO THY STAFF.
Question: Wait a minute, what will I owe you or have to exchange for accepting advice on the production of my staff?
ANSWER: NOTHING, SIR! TIS MY JOY!
Question: I apologize if I seem rude, but a number of times our conversations with Dr. 58 have been interrupted by an entity whom refers to us as “Man Thing,” and who has offered us a boon under rather suspicious circumstances. You are not that same being, are you?
ANSWER: SIR, NO AND NO! I ASK NOTHING. I HAVE SORING HOPES FOR THE PRODUCTION OF YOUR STAFF.
Question: Forgive me for pressing the point, but this other party whom I just mentioned sought to conspire with me to convince Dr. 58 to travel to Minnesota. Do you have any such interest, or any interest in Dr. 58 at all?
ANSWER: NONE, SIR! THE YOUNG SQUIRE DR. 58 IS NOW IN POSSESSION OF A FINE STAFF, PER MY GUIDANCE AND MY HEART IS FULFILLED
Question: Indeed, you seem kind and to have a genuine passion for the joys of owning a fine staff, and in teaching others in obtaining their own personal staffs. But let me ask you this. How is that you have come into or conversation with Dr. 58? I mean, what is your connection?
ANSWER: SIR I MAKE NO JUDGMENTS. I PERCEIVED THEE TO BE WITHOUT A STAFF, AND SAW OPPORTUNITY.
Question: Well, are you listening in on my conversation with Dr. 58?
ANSWER: NOT THAT, SIR. I ONLY TAKE NOTICE OF A GENTLEMAN WITH NO STAFF.
Question: You say you a member of some kind of Guild? Is this a Guild of craftsman dedicated to the making of staffs?
ANSWER: YES, SIR, SHALL WE BEGIN?
Question: Not just yet. Tell us about yourself. What is your name?
ANSWER: MY NAME HARDLY MATTERS.
Question: Will you tell us anyway, in friendship?
ANSWER: GEFRAIM.
Question: Okay, Gefraim, well met! Where are you from? Minnesota?
ANSWER: SIR, THE KINGDOM PROPER.
Question: You mean you are in the “Real Minnesota” rather than my shadow version, as others have called it?
ANSWER: SIR, IT IS BUT A WAY OF LOOKING AT THINGS. THE STAFF?
Question: How long did it take you to learn your craft of making staffs? Were you apprenticed to the Guild?
ANSWER: SIR, YES, I WAS BORN INTO THE GUILD.
Question: How long does it take to master the craft of staff building?
ANSWER: SIR, IT DIFFERS FOR ALL.
Question: Please take no offense, but do you have any references? I mean, can you direct me to perhaps a Guild Master who trained you so that he can vouch for your work?
ANSWER: SIR, WITH HONOR. YOU MAY SPEAK WITH FURSTUS.
Question: Wonderful! Can you help us speak with him?
ANSWER: A TWITCH OF THE STAFF, SIR, SPEAK.
Question: Do we now speak with the Staff Guild Master Furstus?
ANSWER: JUST SO.
Question: Well met, Master Furstus! Tell us, is Gefraim a competent member of the Guild? Can he provide me with a staff I can use with confidence?
ANSWER: GEFRAIM STANDS AS THE GUILD.
Question: Why is Gefraim offering to help me build a staff? What is it he or you or the Guild is getting out of this?
ANSWER: SIR, THE GUILD PERFORMS ITS FUNCTION, NOTHING MORE.
Question: How about if I offer you some Consciousness Chits, or C-Chits, as payment, or at least a token of my thanks?
ANSWER: C-CHITS ARE NOT FOR THE KINGDOM, SIR.
Question: So I have heard. Well, is there anyway I can express my thanks for this information? I would not have an exchange take place and disrupt any balances.
ANSWER: I LEAVE THAT TO YOU, SIR.
Question: Okay, well then, perhaps we can speak with Gefraim again?
ANSWER: A TWITCH OF THE STAFF, SIR.
Question: Gefraim?
ANSWER: ALL IS ORDER, SIR? SHALL WE BEGIN?
Question: Yes, please, and let it be noted we will be providing you with a free will offering in exchange for your service. Agreed?
ANSWER: AS YOU WISH, SIR, AND NOW TO THE STAFF.
Question: By all means, proceed.
SIR, I PERCEIVE THY RESONANCE IS THE WILLOW. SELECT THEE A FINE PORTION ONE HAND BREADTH HIGHER THAN YOUR OWN HEAD, SIR.
Question: The willow, you say? Should it be a live cutting or a cast off limb, or what?
ANSWER: SIR, APPROACH THE WILLOW AND LET IT TELL YOU. SELECT.
Question: I think I can do that. After I have selected my cutting of willow for my staff, what next?
ANSWER: SIR, SIX THINGS:
1. PEEL BARK FROM THE CUTTING.
2. JOIN THE CUTTING WITH A COATING OF THY BLOOD.
3. SUN DRY.
4. CHARGE WITH THE EARTH: BURY THY STAFF FOR ONE DAY AND ONE NIGHT.
5. APPLY THE RESIN OF THE GREEN NEEDLE TREE BOILED IN NUT OIL
6. ATTUNE THY STAFF: ALIGN WITH THE POLE STAR, FOR ONE COMPLETE ROTATION OF THE HEAVENS. LET NOT THE STAFF TOUCH THE GROUND.
SIR, THY STAFF IS YOURS.
Question: A few questions. When you say that I should join the staff with a coating of my blood, does that mean I should basically paint the staff completely from top to bottom with my own blood?
ANSWER: SIR, THIS WILL JOIN YOUR ENERGY TO THE STAFF.
Question: Very good. And this varnish, you suggest. Does it have to be this tree resin boiled in nut oil? I have available to me a number of varnishes, as manufactured here in my world by various Guilds. For example, there is a fine Guild called Ace Hardware from which I can obtain a resin varnish for my staff.
ANSWER: SIR, PREPARE THINE OWN VARNISH.
Question: Okay, and you say I should align my staff with the Pole Star? Am I supposed to build some kind of holder or perch on which the staff can lie as it attunes to the heavenly rotation?
ANSWER: SIR, THAT IS WISE.
Question: I tell you what. As it happens, I own a Newtonian reflecting telescope, and it just so happens that the mount for this instrument is aligned with the Pole Star. What if I remove the telescope from the mount and rest my staff if place? Would this be okay?
ANSWER; SIR, THE TELESCOPE IMPLEMENT IS UNKNOWN TO ME. USE TWO NEUTRAL STICK POSTS. TIE THY STAFF TO THE POSTS WITH TWISTED GRASS. SIGHT CAREFULLY TO ALIGN WITH THE POLE STAR.
Question: Should the top of the staff point toward the Pole Star?
ANSWER: SIR, THAT IS CORRECT.
Question: Gefraim, I accept your gift of instruction, and in exchange, I provide thee with an Energy Bar Tool. Will you accept?
ANSWER: WITH HONOR, SIR. GENTLE WINDS, SIR.
Gentle Winds, Gefraim! Good-bye!
Good-bye.
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